What our bedrooms say about us

Sven and Nicole pose inside their bedroom in Atlanta for Barbara Peacock's "American Bedroom" series. The portrait, which is the cover of Peacock's upcoming book, is a throwback to the famous painting "American Gothic.”

Photographs by Barbara Peacock Story by Kyle Almond, CNNPublished August 25, 2023

Sven and Nicole pose inside their bedroom in Atlanta for Barbara Peacock's "American Bedroom" series. The portrait, which is the cover of Peacock's upcoming book, is a throwback to the famous painting "American Gothic.”

The average person spends about a third of their lives in their bedroom. It’s not just a private place, but a sacred place, according to photographer Barbara Peacock.

“It exemplifies our being,” she says in her upcoming book “American Bedroom.” “It is a place to rest, to love, to comfort, to be, to give life, to restore, to recover, to grieve, to lay sick and to die.”

She got the idea one morning when she woke up and saw her husband bathed in gorgeous morning light. It almost looked like a Renaissance painting — except for his snore mask.

The dichotomy made Peacock chuckle.

“I just started thinking about what we have on our beds, tables, what our rooms look like. How we have them set up, what’s in there that’s precious to us,” she said.

What does your bedroom say about you? What can you learn from someone by looking into their bedroom? What stories does it tell?

Peacock’s project is part photo book, part anthropological study. Since 2016 she has traveled to every region of the country, looking for a cross-section of people from all walks of life.

She started simple, photographing friends in New England, before branching out. She would often post something on Facebook or Craigslist, explaining her project and asking for volunteers in whatever area she was visiting. She would also meet people organically, visiting mom-and-pop shops, diners, beauty parlors, hardware stores, gas stations.

It wasn’t always easy to convince people to open their bedrooms to a stranger.

“It would be so much easier if my whole thing was, like, can I take pictures of people on their porch across the United States?” Peacock said with a laugh. “It was hard. … I had tons of people that said no. But I’m a pretty friendly person.”

While many people respectfully declined the opportunity, there were many who were excited to take part. Peacock was amazed by just how open some people were.

“I get (to the home), and I don’t know these people from Adam and I’m like, what do you guys sleep in? ‘Oh, we sleep in the nude.’ And they’re just nude in a nanosecond,” she said.

Peacock would visit in the mornings and stay usually about an hour or an hour and a half, taking various portraits and trying to reflect what life is like for each of her subjects. Maybe the shot would be someone dressing in the morning. Maybe it would be a bunch of their children jumping on their bed.

She’d tell people in advance not to tidy up or go out of their way to change what their bedroom looks like for the shoot.

“Some people would be like, ‘Oh, OK,’ and they’re totally cool with that,” Peacock said. “Other people are like, ‘No effing way dude, I’m cleaning my room.’ But that’s who they are, so that’s OK.”

Each portrait in the book comes alongside a statement by the subject. For some, it’s a simple sentence or two. For others, it could be something more poetic or poignant.

Peacock recalled visiting an 88-year-old man in Maine named Pepere. His wife had just gone to a nursing home.

“When I wake in the morning, I try to be quiet so I don’t wake her,” he told Peacock. “Then I remember she is no longer here.”

This was early in her project, and she said a chill went up her spine when she heard that.

“I realized there was so much power in what these people had to say. And it was no longer really about maybe just my vision. That I was more a conduit to tell their story,” she said.

After each shoot, Peacock would spend more time with their subjects, maybe having an iced tea or a coffee. In Detroit, she met people who were hungry, so she would take them to the grocery store to buy some groceries as a thank you.

She met one woman in Atlanta who was a bit lonely and just wanted to talk. Peacock was happy to spend an extra three hours with her, giving her company. Peacock also became pen pals with Orville, a man who didn’t have a phone or a computer.

“I learned that there are so many lonely people and so many underappreciated people and unseen people,” Peacock said. “And this was a chance for those people to be in the limelight and to tell their story.”

Peacock said she has photographed about 400 people for her project over the past seven years. The book is broken down into five sections that touch on each region that she visited: the Northeast, the South, the Midwest, the West and the Southwest.

Peacock has met so many different people over the past seven years, with all sorts of bedrooms. Some don’t even have an actual room, as they sleep outside.

But one of her biggest takeaways from her project is that no matter how different our sleeping arrangements may look, we are all more alike than we may think.

“If we just slow down a little bit and really saw each other, we’re all basically the same,” she said. “We all want the same things. … It all boils down to love and family. That’s what everybody wants. And human connection.”

She said she was honored by those who allowed her to tell their stories.

“Every human being is important and has a story to tell,” she said. “And if we listen, we can realize that while we’re all different in so many ways, our connection is much closer than we can imagine.”

The upcoming book “American Bedroom">American Bedroom” is being published by Kehrer Verlag">Kehrer Verlag and can now be pre-ordered">pre-ordered.